- Assuming that you’re exclusive. If you just met, chances are he’s seeing other people.
- Assuming that he will follow basic common courtesy standards. Guys that are dating casually don’t necessarily think or even care about your feelings. And sometimes, even when you point out what a jerk he is being, he won’t understand why you’re put off about it.
- Getting into large group situations. These types of hang out situations seem great because you can spend time with the guy you’re seeing in a stress-free, easy environment. However, if you’re unsure as to where you stand with a new guy, these types of situations can lead to extreme discomfort and awkwardness, especially if the group consists mostly of people you don’t know. New guys don’t always feel obligated to stay with you, and if they get caught up in talking to other people, you might as well not be there.
- Not working out a payment system beforehand. When you’re seeing someone casually, it can often be confusing when it comes time to decide who is paying when you go out. Some guys are adamant about paying for dates, but there are other guys who get bitter if they feel they’ve been taking on too much of the costs.
Now that we’ve covered the “don’ts,” let’s get to the “dos.”
- Date multiple people. When you’re single and dating casually, it’s good to keep your options open. You want to have fun and figure out if you’re truly compatible with anyone you are seeing. You may think that this could be mean, but, as long as you don’t lie about it if he asks and are up front about it, it’s perfectly fine.
- Stay somewhat detached and have a go-with-the-flow attitude. If you don’t get attached to a new guy, or convince yourself that things have to go a certain way for you to be happy, then you won’t be hurt if things end badly or not the way you expected.
- Forget the drama and focus on having fun. The beauty of dating casually is that there’s no pressure. If a guy does something that ticks you off, you don’t have to make a big scene about or get mad or try to work things out afterwards, you just stop hanging out with him. If hanging out with a guy starts being less fun, then you can focus more of your attention on hanging out with a guy that you’re more into.
- Switch things up. You don’t want to get in a rut of doing the same things over and over. In the beginning stages of getting to know someone and hanging out, it’s important to do new things. If you can’t keep it interesting when the relationship is new and at the most fun point it’s going to be at, then your future together is doomed. This is especially important if you’re seeing multiple people. If you have a really fun date somewhere with one of the guys you’re seeing, don’t take another guy there; keep it special with the original guy.
- Expect the unexpected. If you don’t know someone that well, you don’t know what skeletons are in their closet. The unexpected could be as simple as “I’m allergic to Jello,” or as complicated as “I’m actually 22,” or “I can’t go out this weekend because I’m on house arrest for selling cocaine.”
In a nutshell, date as many guys as you want and have as much fun as you can. As high school students, we don’t have to be tied down to one person, and if you do, the college dating scene will come as a shock. However, if you meet someone that you really like and you can’t resist being with them, don’t be clingy.
Before I dated a college guy, I was a clingy girl. I wanted my boyfriends to text me all day every day and spend lots of time with me. Now I see that that was a problem. You can’t depend on your significant other to fill every gap in your life; you have to fill them yourself. And, while it may be cliché, you have to love yourself before you can truly love another person. Having a boyfriend can be fun, but make sure you both have your own space and that you think of relationships as a bonus, rather than a necessity.
