“Oh my gosh I just lost my phone and totally almost had a panic attack.” I cringe whenever I hear this or something similar. In today’s society, words like anxiety and panic attack are thrown around lightly when it should be the exact opposite. Personally, I’ve dealt with severe panic attacks since seventh grade. I am now a sophomore and was officially diagnosed this past summer. I now take a medication daily called Fluoxetine; an antidepressant that helps in suppressing my Anxiety. There are many different symptoms people with Anxiety face but for me, it shows up mainly in the form of panic attacks.

For those of you who don’t know what it is like to have a panic attack,I will describe what a regular experience is like for me. An attack can range anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. I have also had them in all sorts of places such as in restaurants, bathrooms, pools, my house, other people’s houses, parties, even almost in an airport. Basically it feels like your entire world is ending for no reason. It hits without warning, I crumble down and burst into tears. I can’t breathe or think; all I can do is cling to the item next to me and wait for it to end. It ends in hyperventilating almost to the point of blacking out. Screaming helps release the pain faster. It’s not physical pain (although eventually the hyperventilating and crying do lead to a strong migraine, dry throat and upset stomach) but mental and emotional pain. For whatever reason I mentally feel as if I’m going to die; like the entire world is ending and I have no control over anything. If I can’t calm down, I have to take a medication called Xanax to stop it. This medicine knocks me out and when I wake up my head pounds, my stomach churns, my throat is extremely dry and I am groggy.

Living with this disorder is not easy and can be embarrassing. I’m putting myself out there like this not to get sympathy or attention, but to give people a better understanding of what living with anxiety is like. If you are suffering from Anxiety or think you might be, you’re not alone. One day I hope for mental disorders to not be an embarrassment or the punch line of people’s jokes. People should be able to feel like they are able to talk about this issue without being judged or not being taken seriously.