We’ve all been there. “Oh, she’s so perfect, I wish I could be just like her.” “If only I could get as many girls as he does… Is it because I’m not fit?” “How does she look so good every day?” And the list goes on and on and on. So many people admire other people. But sometimes this admiration turns into jealousy, resulting in bad self-esteem. Let me let you in on a little secret, if you have so-and-so’s muscles or their wardrobe, hair, smile, etc. it won’t benefit your life as much as you think. Their perfect smile doesn’t signify a perfect life. Everyone has bumps and bruises, things that went wrong in their life. Yes, some people are more put together than others (I’m admittedly on the hot mess end of the scale) and that’s okay. But telling yourself that you aren’t good enough until you have every superficial trait imaginable is harming your self-esteem more than you think. You’re belittling yourself, and for what? Exactly. You have no reason. So it’s time to realize that all this “perfection” you’re seeing will fade, and once it does, all you’re left with is bad self-esteem and a nasty and mean inner critic. So, stop the negative cycle by using these tips.

1.When you find yourself thinking rudely about yourself, stop the thoughts. It might be a little harder than it sounds, especially at first. But as soon as you recognize yourself criticizing everything about you, work to stop it. Halt the negativity and appreciate what you can do.

2. Realize that not everyone is as perfect as they seem. The No. 1 reason why I hate social media is it’s easy for people to give off the façade of being perfect. It’s understandable that people only want to document the highlights of their life but while you’re over here having seemingly the worst day ever; scrolling through smiling selfies and dazzling events you’re missing out on isn’t going to help. You don’t see the fight that couple got into or the family problems that girl has to deal with. You see the “pretty” side to people’s lives, the side they want you to see. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing lives, so when you find yourself doing this, remember they’re not perfect either.

3. Give out compliments. Instead of being jealous, be admiring. Show the person you admire them by giving them a compliment. It will make you feel better by brightening someone’s day and you’ll feel more open and outgoing.

4. Do good deeds for others. Volunteer your time or do something nice for a loved one. The options are endless, and not only will it distract you from negative thoughts, it will also boost your confidence and happiness levels by making someone else happy as well.

5. Think of what you like about yourself. This doesn’t necessarily mean physical traits, it could be something you’re good at or a personality trait you have. Appreciate yourself and what you can do with what you have rather than focusing on what you can’t do with what you don’t have.

6. Change your hair, fitness regimen, etc. If you don’t like something about yourself, change it. Change is always possible and rather than sitting back feeling sorry for yourself, come up with a goal to change. Make sure your change has a positive impact and you are still staying true to who you are.

I hope everyone can stop dragging down on themselves and just realize how amazing they are. You’re not perfect because there’s no such thing as perfect, so please keep a smile on your face and be appreciative. In the wise words of Hannah Montana, “Nobody’s perfect, I gotta work it, again and again ‘til I get it right. Hey, nobody’s perfect.”