The word “feminism” brings a different image to the heads of different people. Maybe you think of a woman who chooses not to shave and detests stay-at-home mothers. Early 1900s suffragettes might come to mind. Perhaps you’re reminded of Emma Watson’s fairly recent UN speech on how she became a feminist. No matter what comes to your mind, it seems that society in general cannot agree on one singular definition of the word.

If you’re familiar with Beyonce’s pop hit “Flawless,” you would likely recognize the dictionary definition from Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TED Talk “We Should All Be Feminists,” which the song sampled: “Feminist: the person who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes.” Adichie also mentions her own definition of a feminist in her speech, which is “a man or a woman who says, ‘Yes, there’s a problem with gender as it is today, and we must fix it, we must do better.’” Both of these definitions mention something that many critics of feminism don’t recognize: feminism is not just a women’s rights movement, but a movement for gender equality as a whole.

As Adichie mentions in her talk, men also experience unfair gender expectations. The system that says girls shouldn’t get an education or can’t work outside of the home — the patriarchy — is the same system that tells men that they can’t show too much emotion or enjoy feminine things. The goal of feminism is not solely to help get women more opportunities in the workforce, politics or what have you. The main goal is to take down this patriarchy, this system that enforces traditional roles onto the genders which hurt everyone.

Now, you might be thinking: “I see feminists man-bashing, not fighting for our ability to express ourselves equally.” As professor and author Roxane Gay stated in her collection of essays “Bad Feminist,” “When feminism falls short of our expectations, we decide the problem is with feminism rather than with the flawed people who act in the name of the movement.” If someone claims to be a feminist but believes that men should uphold their traditional role, or if they don’t include women of color or LGBT women, that person is not a true feminist. When someone like this speaks out, the reaction is often to denounce feminism as a whole, instead of to criticize this person’s flawed version of it.

I’ve seen men and women alike jump to condemn feminism. I assume these people must’ve met someone who represented the movement incorrectly. Feminists do not think women should never shave. Instead, feminists think that women and men should have the choice to shave or not to shave. Feminists do not despise stay-at-home moms or women who love to cook or wear makeup. They support the idea that a woman should choose whether or not she should stay at home, or cook, or wear makeup. Feminists also support stay-at-home fathers who are often made fun of by society for taking on a feminine role.

This is why feminism is named feminism: not because it helps solely females, but because femininity is what is considered degrading in society. Women, the feminine gender, are often seen as second to men, or treated as such, even if the treatment is not intentional. Men who act or look feminine are similarly treated lower than a masculine, traditionally-manly man. Feminism’s mission statement isn’t “kill all men,” it’s “down with the patriarchy; there is nothing wrong with femininity.”

Of course, it is easier to hate feminists than to be a constructive member of the movement. This is most likely why “meninist” Twitter accounts have popped up recently. Some of their tweets point out issues men deal with, such as the pressure to be a certain height in order to be considered manly or attractive. At the same time, these accounts call feminists “stupid” or “trash,” when feminists want men to live in a world free from such societal expectations.

These accounts often criticize feminism for fighting for issues prevalent in America while women in developing countries have it much worse. We need to remember that oppression is not a competition. Feminists (and those still confused as to how to identify themselves) should work to help those in developing countries as well as their own. Just because they are far away doesn’t mean their struggles aren’t real. But it also doesn’t mean that we can’t fight oppression here at home.

I see people and meninism accounts say that feminists are stupid for calling for fair dress codes that don’t shame women for wearing shorts purely because “it will distract men” because, in the Middle East and Asia, women are victims of acid attacks for defying men or their families. Yes, we need to help these women, and yes, they have it worse — but that doesn’t mean we should suddenly forget issues here at home, too. Saying “you’re not being attacked by acid, so you shouldn’t complain about your treatment” to a woman is like saying “you’re treated fine, slavery would be way worse” to a black person.

These accounts go beyond being hypocritical on certain issues, however; they get much nastier. Tweets like “If you say ‘woman’ fast enough it sounds like ‘make me a sandwich’” bring back primitive jokes I thought everyone was rightfully over after middle school. They also objectify women with tweets like “Girls with no ass wearing yoga pants is like listening [to] the clean version of a Chief Keef song.” Women wear yoga pants for many reasons, like comfort or because they look good in them, but by no means do men (or any person) have a say in who should or shouldn’t get to wear them based on their bodily features.

Another tweet reads “If a girl friendzones you, you have to hook her up with your boy that always cheats to teach her a lesson.” Here, they are basically saying that if a girl likes you as a friend but doesn’t want to get involved romantically, she somehow deserves to be set-up with a cheater — because cheating on someone and being a friend instead of a girlfriend with someone are equivalent. There’s even one tweet that has a short video of several black women performing an improvised rap in an elevator, with the caption “I wish Ray Rice was in there.” You shouldn’t have to identify as a feminist to see what’s wrong there.

Yes, this account does claim it is “parody” and “obviously sarcasm” in its bio. Just because those who run these accounts don’t truly think that women who don’t want to go out with them deserve to be set up with cheaters doesn’t make it OK for them to spread that kind of message.

The @MeninistTweet account has 780,000 followers. That’s a lot of people to be taking in this primitive humor. They also sell shirts and hoodies for profit that read “#MENINIST,” which makes me think that they aren’t just there for laughs, however horrible their jokes may be. When I see all the retweets and favorites these tweets get, in addition to the people who buy these shirts, it worries me. Men are buying into this joke of a movement over feminism, a real movement that is actually concerned with men’s issues, and not just of height expectations — unfair child custody and divorce biases, the way fathers are portrayed as incompetent, having to pay for everything in a relationship, people not realizing that men can also be sexual abused/assaulted/harrassed and other serious problems for males in our society.

Even sadder are the women who claim to be meninists despite the degrading tweets sent out by this group. I’m guessing it is because these women want to be seen as chill, or “just one of the guys.” What I would like to say to these women is that just because you think you don’t need feminism doesn’t mean that feminism shouldn’t exist. Unfair gender roles affect everyone, and you shouldn’t get the call on whether we need a movement to change that, especially if you’re in such a privileged position that you feel it’s unnecessary. Also, if you want to be chill and friends with guys, go out there and be chill and be friends with guys. It’s not as hard as it looks, and you don’t need to be complacent in your own dehumanization to do so. And, if you think that men shouldn’t have to pay for every meal, that makes you a feminist, not a meninist.

Like Adichie said, there is something wrong with how gender is today, and we must fix it. Another one of her quotes from her TED Talk perfectly sums up why we should fight gender inequality everywhere and for all genders: “Imagine how much happier we would be, how much freer to be our true individual selves, if we didn’t have the weight of gender expectations.”