Growing up, I loved to watch vloggers. I loved being able to immerse myself in the lives of online influencers, to be a part of their day to day activities and hear their innermost thoughts. As much as I loved consuming this content, I dreamed of being the one to create it.
When I was younger, I tried it, filming my mundane daily activities and doing my best to piece together the footage on iMovie. Of course I never shared this. The vlogs were just for me – a means of motivation and appreciation for the little things in life.
As I got older, these mini vlogs stopped and I resumed my role as a content consumer. I always told my family and friends that someday I would vlog again for real, just not now. I had to graduate first and go to college, where I would have more time, freedom and less judgement from others. So I put this interest aside.
That was until one weekend when I was discussing vlogging with my older sister. She asked what was holding me back and I replied with the same reasons as always. She suggested that over winter break I should try it anyway. I would have the time and freedom, and it didn’t have to be serious, I could just show them to family and friends, which solved the judgement issue.
So I did it. I began to vlog parts of my winter break. I started with only the activities that I felt were interesting, but as the days went on I began to include the less shiny aspects of my life too. I documented moments spending time with family, a car ride with friends and even crocheting in bed. This helped me realize how lucky I was to have the chance to do even these things that seemed mundane.
But I didn’t just use vlogging as a way of documenting activities. I also used it as a video journal. I would talk through my feelings or my opinions on new movies. At the end, I would reflect on my day, mentioning what moments I enjoyed most. It was not unlike journaling, or even meditating.
One of the hardest parts of vlogging for me was watching the videos back. I think most people would relate to feeling uncomfortable when seeing themselves interacting in videos. I often felt this awkwardness when I was not the one behind the camera. As I vlogged more though, I began to feel more comfortable seeing my own mannerisms and being more authentically me. There was no point of vlogging if I was showing an ingenuine version of myself.
Becoming more authentic in my vlogs felt really freeing and allowed me to further understand who I was as a person. One’s personality and mannerisms are merely a product of anyone they have ever been close to. Recognizing this fact, I felt that I often lost sight of my real personality as I tried to mold the way I acted to be liked by others. When I vlogged, specifically moments when it was just me talking to the camera, I felt I was able to capture a version of myself that was most true to me.
Ultimately, vlogging was not only a way for me to share my life with those closest to me but also a tool for self reflection and personal growth. Through documenting my life, I gained a deeper appreciation for the little things and developed a more authentic understanding of myself. Vlogging helped me to find joy in both the ordinary and extraordinary aspects of my life.
