The JagWire brought together students and staff to discuss the stronger enforcement of the dance policy in a roundtable discussion.
JW: How did you perceive previous years’ dances?
Junior Robbie Weber: I’d definitely say not as well enforced, I don’t remember seeing radios or people in bleachers last year.
Junior Paige Hillebert: I think people still complained last year though, protested music. It stunk so we all sat down.
Principal Tobie Waldeck: All I can tell you is what I have heard. This is coming from parents. I received numerous emails and phone calls telling me the dances were completely inappropriate and they wanted to know what I was going to do to fix that. And so as time went on, I got a little bit nervous about that. And so we did what we could do to make sure the kids danced appropriately.
JW: What happened with Homecoming?
RW: To be honest, I didn’t like them really but I did sign the dance conduct thing so I think they had every right to step it up a bit.
PH: I didn’t like it. I think everyone was so mad because it was shocking that they were actually enforcing it.
Assistant principal Marilyn Chrisler: Do you [students] think you stressed out more? Or over-analyzed before you got there or tried to go in? I mean, some kids didn’t even go into the dance.
Senior Tori Couts: I think it was all word of mouth, just how everyone carried it out.
TW: Everything that went on went through me, period. And was it over the top? Probably. But the bottom line is this policy wasn’t something that was invented by me. It wasn’t something I was going to relinquish… This is one of those places that we are all obligated to be decent.
MC:You’ve got to understand that there are 1,100 kids in our school, and we have to follow the rules for everyone. There were some people that were very inappropriate.
Counselor Erin Hayes: I just think it’s a very awkward thing to try and enforce. How would you guys have enforced it differently? Coming as an adult, I am very uncomfomfortable walking up to you. How do you handle that without coming across as “No touching,” which obviously isn’t going to happen. How could it have gone differently and been okay?
TC: I felt like going into this dance all the supervisors already thought it was going to be mass chaos and so bad, like last year’s and previous years’ [dances] were terrible. But from my eyes, I didn’t see any of that at any of the dances. There were the occasional few people that were inappropriate but it wasn’t masses of people being outrageous. I never saw anything like that, maybe you guys thought it was going to be terrible. I thought it was a lot of supervision.
EH: So it went from one extreme to the other.
TW: It did. Absolutely it did. You’ve got to give me a little bit of leeway here, in the fact that I never, in all the things I heard about the dances, not one time did I hear a positive thing. Before I even set foot in the building. So yes, I was expecting the worst. So was it over the top? Yes… No one felt worse than I did.
JW: Should the policy be updated, and if so, how?
EH: I think it needs to come from the students first. I feel like you guys should be the ones to revise it. It’s your dance.
TC: I honestly don’t think the way that we used to dance was inappropriate. I thought it was fine the way I danced at dances. I think there were probably some people, I never pulled up my skirt up to my butt, I never did that. I didn’t see a problem [with my dancing].
TW: The grinding thing, somebody’s going to have to convince me that that’s decent, and I don’t feel like I’m being old-fashioned.
RW: I think it could definitely be appropriate. There’s always going to be people who pull up their skirts or three-point stance, but in my honest opinion I believe that most grinding that goes on at the dances is appropriate.
TW: [Those contacting me have] talked about face to genital area, they’ve talked about-
PH: I have NEVER seen that.
TC: Yeah I have never seen that.
TW: Multiple, multiple, multiple reports from before I even set one foot in this building. I’ve heard the same thing from students. Ninety percent of the communication I received from parents and kids calling me after the dance were thanking me. Of course I know I’ve got a lot of kids aren’t very happy with me. [WPA] same thing, lot of people telling me this was a very good dance.
JW: What should students dance like?
MC: Like you did at [WPA].
TW: Can I just say that I don’t think I should have to go into detail? Can’t I just say to young men and young women that you are expected to dance appropriately? In other words, nothing sexually explicit.
MC: Probably not back to front.
TW: Nobody said you can’t dance, and you can’t be close. That never even entered my mind, not one time.
JW: Do you believe there is such thing as appropriate grinding?
MC: What if we just don’t? What if we just don’t grind? What if we dance face to face and all together like you did [at WPA]? What is it with the grinding thing? I just don’t get it.
RW: It’s just what our generation does, I guess. It’s what we do.
PH: They’re usually not dancing alone, so it’s not as embarrassing as where you’re dancing facing someone. They have to look at you dancing, they can see if you’re being embarrassing.
TC: I guess for the face to face thing, the group of people that were at [WPA] were a group of people that were willing to change, a group of people that understand that we have to make this better, and that’s not everyone in this school. Unless the dances are now all the people that came to [WPA], then I don’t think that it will change.
TW:I’m willing to listen and willing to come up with ideas, otherwise I wouldn’t even be here. I want to hear what you have to say, but the one thing that I will not negotiate with will be decency. I cannot negotiate on decency.
The JagWire also spoke with the superintendent-elect, Dr. Doug Sumner, for the district opinion on the enforcement of the dance policy.
JW: What do you know about the dance policy?
DS: I’ve seen a copy of the policy, it’s pretty generic.
JW: What’s your personal opinion?
DS: I am for dancing. Here’s the thing for me; I’m a person that tries not to overreact or under react. I think far too often when we are faced with a situation liked this we go from one extreme to the other. I know Mr. Waldeck will do his very best to find the right response. I haven’t seen the dancing myself so I can’t tell you what’s going on. I hear its MTV-esque, and it was a little too much. I’m aware enough to know what dancing looks like today. My response is I have to trust people to do their jobs. The problem here is the difference in perception between what the students believe is appropriate and what the staff thinks is appropriate. Part of me is surprised that the students are surprised that this response is occurring. It’s a time and place thing. We are looking for the common ground.
JW: Do you think we could find common ground that would leave both parties happier?
DS: I would say there is absolutely a need to have a conversation with students. I will be the first to stay I don’t understand as much as we need to about what the dancing is. Is there room for compromise in this? Yes, as long as everyone is willing to be reasonable. But the final product has to look good at the end. There has to genuine compromise.
JW: Students are fairly worried about Prom. Do you think it’s possible to work it out?
DS: This absolutely has to be worked out before Prom. I can’t imagine that the standards put in place are that strict. But I would be surprised if I’m wrong. My view of what would be appropriate and not appropriate would never be so high that it would stop people from having a good time. That’s why it’s important to me that this gets worked out before Prom occurs.
JW: Do you think there is a level of grinding that could be acceptable?
DS: There are categories? Bending is where it goes wrong. The positioning is the hard part; you have to remember the thing that initiated all of this was, from what I’m told, parent complaints. We are in a tough position here. I would be very comfortable with some decent form of grinding, but people might think it’s too much.
JW: How can it be worked out?
DS: We need students to step up and endorse the understanding. You guys need to be able to walk away and want to sell it. Then it’s our burden to walk away and make sure our agreement stays in place.
JW: How possible is a clean decent compromise for Prom?
DS: Not only do I think it’s possible, I think it’s essential. If the kids we are talking about are decent and responsible. We, on the district side, have to give Mr. Waldeck permission to work things out. Because the talk he got was probably pretty serious. I think compromise is completely achievable, I would be shocked if it’s not. I don’t think you need my help, but I would be happy to lend the district’s perspective to the discussion, but there are a lot of reasonable people here. Dancing is a beautiful thing. For me to think that kids would be missing out is hard for me. But there is a way to have great expression without having offensive behavior. The issue is to get people to be willing to look beyond their personal views and opinions. I want everyone comfortable enough to be able to attend and enjoy a dance.
